The Crane Style
by mushi6618
Summary: Very corny line Crane uses to pick up girls with on the occasions when he does get drunk. "I'll show you the Crane style." Lucky him it works on Becky.


**The Crane Style**

_Plot: Very corny line Crane uses to pick up girls with on the occasions when he does get drunk. "I'll show you the Crane style." Lucky him it works on Becky. Disclaimer: Don't take this story seriously. I own nothing in it, except a bad pick up line.  
_

_…_

It was the thunderstorm of the century, and it ragged over the city of Gotham. No one was out in this weather, not even the crazies. This was a night to stay inside and enjoy getting stranded at your local bar & inn.

Our story takes place at The Clams Up Inn and Bar where only the 'crazies' hung out at. You know the kind… the one's that hold the city Mayor for ransom just to show on national television him sit on a Whoopi cushion, or the one's that try to freeze the city because they want you to just as miserable as them.

The Rouges.

On this particular night two of the lesser known but still highly feared Rouges were having a drink. The man in the large black top hat with a 10/6 card sticking out was having a long island iced tea and the man dressed in rags with hay for hair was having a glass of rum cider. The two weren't chatting much, just sitting quietly at the bar enjoying their drinks.

Then someone put a quarter in the jukebox and the song "Little Girls" by Oingo Boingo came on. The man in the top had begun to down his drink as he glared at the poor unsuspecting soul who chose that particular song. The man with the straw hair simply sipped at his cider as his friend ordered another tea.

"You're going to get drunk."

"Tonight, I _don't_ care!"

Jonathan knew when to leave his friend alone, that and _he _really didn't care, but he hated when Jervis got drunk. If the Mad Hatter was bonkers sober, he was impossible to deal with drunk. That and he hit on every woman in sight. The Scarecrow shuttered remembering a time when Jervis mistaken him and his long straw hair for a woman. Talk about a fear inducing experience…

The night went on and the two men proceeded to ingest a rather notable amount of alcohol. At this point Jervis was eyeing the waitress and trying to pull Jonathan down with him. The Scarecrow wobbled on his seat.

"L-Listen, uh, Tetch. I am… I'm not g-going to hit on some… _female_."

"Oh… well (hick) I didn't know you were gaaaaaaaaay!" Jervis then proceeded to break out in a peel of laughter.

"I am _NOT_ g-g-gay!" Jonathan stood up and almost fell if he hadn't been holding onto the bar.

"P-prove it! Ha, ha, ha, ah…"

"Fine the next… the next woman that w-walks though…" He spun around and pointed to the exit. "…that door. I-I will _kisssss_!" He spat the words out at Jervis and got the inside of his mask wet.

Pulling the Scarecrow covering off his face, Jonathan downed the rest of his spiked cider, and glared at the exit door. The bartender who'd been keeping his distance all night just shook his head at the two's antics. Picking up a pitcher of cider he went and refilled the Scarecrow's glass.

"That's the exit. No one will come through that door."

The two criminals both turned to stare at the bartender.

"The Dodo is r-right!" Jervis said with an enlightened look. The bartender just headed back to the other end of the bar not wanting to be dragged into their conversation.

"…So, how do… ugh, I p-prove… I'm not gay."

Jervis slowly and fuzzily assessed the room. All he could see were a bunch of lowlife thugs; it was late so most of the waitresses went home. Just as he was about to say something that would have surely gotten him gassed, someone walked into the bar.

Both villains zeroed in on the soaked young woman as she hurriedly strode towards the bar. Jervis who was sitting closer to the woman heard most of her conversation. He heard the words car, stalled, raining, and drink. The Mad Hatter turned back to Jonathan with his Cheshire smile on his face just as the woman sat down a few bar stools away from them.

"_Found it, of course you know what 'it' means."_

"Even d-drunk you quote?"

But Jonathan eyed the girl behind Jervis just the same. She was drenched from the rain, making her clothing and hair stick to her person. Her wet brown-red hair was tied at the bottom of her pony tail giving her a distinct look. Crane felt heat rise to his face; she was pretty.

"Well, aren't you g-going to go…" His voice dropped to a whisper. "…kiss h-her?"

"I… ah… I n-need another drink."

"_I advise you to leave off this minute!"_

Jervis stared at Jonathan till the man looked way and finally got up.

"_I shall really be unhappy unless you give me the courage that makes one forget he's afraid."_ Whispered the Scarecrow.

Jonathan stumbled towards the young lady at the end of the bar and sat down next to her. Turning to the young woman he notices a few more of her attributes. The woman's eyes were a lovely shade of green and her lips were full. She was drinking her second Irish coffee and as she brought her left hand up to move some wet hair out of her face Crane seen no ring on her finger. Jonathan wet his exposed dry lips and prepared himself.

"T-The name's C-Crane. Who are you?" The girl turned her face to him; she had freckles.

"Um, Becky. Becky Albright."

"So, uh, um, what's a bar like you d-doing in a girl like this?" Jonathan wanted to smack himself.

"Heh. My car broke down about a block away and this was the only place open." She laughed again. "You seem so anxious Mr. Crane."

"_Oh yes; I am anxious, it is such an uncomfortable feeling to know one is a fool."_

"You're not a fool; actually think it's rather sweet. I don't normally get hit on." Becky blushed.

Jonathan just sat there with his eyes wide and his mouth open. Quickly he turned away. What was going on? He looked back at the girl, Becky, only to notice she was still blushing, but his mind reasoned, it could be from the alcohol in her coffee. Unfortunately, the alcohol coursing through his system fogged Jonathan's mind; making him bold.

"You k-know I'm a martial artist."

"Really?" She eyed him and his lanky frame.

"You look like you c-could use a dry place to, um, stay." Crane forced himself to continue. "I-I have a room here… and if you – if you want…" Jonathan steeled himself. "I'll show you the _Crane_ style."

Jonathan was sure he'd burst into flames, behind him he heard Jervis quietly laughing. Not looking at Becky he sat staring at the bottles of liquor that were lined up in front of him. His head was beginning to hurt from the alcohol and all the thinking he was doing.

"Um… s-sure."

At this Crane's Jaw hit the floor. Did she really just agree to... Picking up their tab, he took the young woman's hand and led her away from the bar. Passing a shocked Mad Hatter. Jonathan thought the look on Jervis's face was priceless.

"Excuse me, _Mr. Dodo_? I t-think I'd like another drink..." He smiled in Crane's direction. "tomorrow is going to be a _frabjous_ day..."

...

_Ah, the wonders of alcohol. Well this was an interesting oneshot? Wonder who Becky Albright is? See __the comic: Mistress of Fear, Scarecrow (Villains) #1 February 1998. This was just something fun that I put together, a cute one nignter thing, which you'd be surprised as to how often it happens. I'm not trying to make Becky seem easy, but if Crane's gonna hit on someone I would want it to be her. _


End file.
